


Ten Myths About Soulmates (And How to Do Them)

by AngelsMayDie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 20:51:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8504941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelsMayDie/pseuds/AngelsMayDie
Summary: Who is Qian Kun?
To his fangirls...he's the ultimate prince.
To his parents...he's the 'best son we could ever hope for' and they can actually brag in the face of other people, not just for the sake of family cliches
To his Psychology (very minor subject) Professor...He's the best and worst student at the same time
To his (real) friends...he's a psychotic, manipulative, and evil taking the form of a cute button
No other knows who the real Kun is. Only he knows...and he hopes he could share it to the only person that matters...hoping he can be accepted as he is - no reservations, just Kun, quirks and all.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted in AFF

**Ten Myths About Soulmates & How To Do Them  
An Expository by Qian Kun**  
 

* * *

  
As I am waiting for my boyfriend's class to end, I decided to the this stupid essay. Did that kick a nut professor Do? Well…well…well…  
  
First and for most, I hate your psychology class. They are either too sappy and clean & lame even for the mentally challenged or too controversial and uncategorized to the point that I'm almost sure you made it up so that you could enjoy the university privileges - nothing in between.  
  
'What is soulmates?' That's what you asked us before you left the class after discussing anal & oral fixations, Oedipus complex and Freudian shit which is disturbing as hell by the way, then you ask as to submit a damn ten page essay explaining something abstract and vague. Of course a lot of your students would love to bullshit through this. After all, they are hormonal, mind-numbed, indefinitely broke, emotionally unstable pre-adults.  
  
Secondly, I hate that you said I was too 'safe' and too 'didactic' in my previously submitted essays when I put a damn lot effort on them - extra long, peer-reviewed, free from grammatical errors and very well researched. Holy cow! The last one crack the limits for me. How could Johnny Seo get a freaking A+ on his bare four-paged, double spaced, font size 14 essay about as easy his own cluster result from Briggs-Myers personality test when I get a whooping B minus and a twenty-seven page essay exploring mine. You're probably pinning on me so that you could sleep with me? Let me burst your fantasy bubble, Mr. Do Kyungsoo, you're cute as hell but I'm taken, satisfactorily I might add. The Varsity Coach would screw you, though. Just say the magic words.  
  
During the first day, you said that your class is practically the only free cut we could stubble up in our college life and we don't even need to move a finger to  ace your class but holy crap! I always get the lowest mark when it comes to essays when I basically breeze through all your objective and analytic exams. Every B I got makes Johnny think I am below him when his basically located conveniently at the bottom of the food chain that is life - the same food chain I reign.  
  
You accused me of lacking 'personal insight' and 'something from my own'.  
  
Well, I'll give a piece of my mind, something very original and 'insightful' just the way you like it.  
  
Saying that it's too calculated for a college student that you never gave me an A. Well I don't care if you gave me an F in this. I'm sure as hell going to pass your irrelevant course. That's right! Irrelevant! Filler! Good as inexistent!  
  
Prepare to be amazed!…For the first and last time, I will submit an essay so raw, so bold, so ME~ that you'd never ever think of me as the 'safe' student.  
  
This is the portion where I end my rants and issue an apology because I never accessed any articles about soulmates and whatnots. This is purely my mind, self-proofread. Take that!  
  
  
(Legend: Myth equates to bullshit. I still have an eyesore over the word shit.)  
  
  
  
**Myth # 1 Soulmates are the opposite gender.**  
  
  
It's not because I'm gay or you're gay, my dear professor. I'm not even feminist, meminist, or leaning onto any gender for that matter but I stand that firmly that soulmates needs to be the opposite gender is not always the case. A man can have penchant for pink shit and adore wearing lacy panties and bras but still be soulmates with a woman. Take my parents for example. My father told me, from cradle, that he used to like cock and of course I was so little at that moment that my reply was 'I like rabbits more. They're way fluffier'. My old man was definitely insane when he decided to blurt those out to his only child at the tender age of seven. The F*** was that? But it's not the point. What he's saying is that despite the misogynistic societal classification the public throws at him when he flaunts his fabulous self, he cannot help himself to love my mother.  
  
People may argue that 'oh, it's more like girlfriend-girlfriend thing' the type of relationship where girls share make-up tips, beauty regimens and boy toys and their toys and not the real deal or they got married out of unwanted pregnancy from a drunken escapade. Well…that's partly true. I was indeed unplanned…and a beer baby but my old man said he already felt something deep for my mom way before he knocked her down 'accidentally'. I was a true witness on their non-normal, extra special rather, relationship. I was inspired every time I see their contented face when they are with each other, how they bring each other's best, how one hug can their raging hearts subside all the hatred, how seemingly they are one. I'm their son so I don't only have to deal with what people would spit on me because I have to stick with them but they made it so so easy. My parents never failed to make me feel loved and needed even in circumstances where I was not supposedly even included. That's why I know, in my heart that they are soulmates.  
  
I just realized my father and mother are biologically a man and a woman, respectively so smart assess would argue that 'oh they are, in fact opposite genders'. Newsflash! Your insensitive smart mouths were the cause of divisive pitfall that categorize people in to genders. He may be a male down there but he has more essence of being a woman than your mothers combine since it's apparent that they failed to raise you properly. Your kind is the root of these unnecessary disputes which deter us from advancing as humans. Your twisted notion of how a man or a woman conduct his or her actions and branding them adversely when he/she failed to conform with your made-up norms.  
  
Then again, my father wants me to call him 'madame'. How queen is he?  
  
  
  
**Myth # 2 Soulmates are always human**  
  
  
I don't have a loop-hole free explanation on this myself but I like the idea that everything, even non-living, has a spiritual energy in them - that they are indeed inherently good. So how does this tie up to the second myth?  
  
Have you ever felt a deep connection with an animal, loving it too much like your own sibling and bawling your eyes out when it fell ill and eventually wither? Have you ever found a special place where you can be in your wavelength, where you could feel like you are surrounded with security and love, a space were you feel you are you without doing anything?  
  
Because based on my innate understanding, that's a tie between soulmates. That is soulmate experience.  
  
I don't have those kind soulmate bond to support my assertion…I guess my real-life observations counts? Like one, that little devil named Jung Jaehyun who looks like and acts like a puppy when I can smell that he is just some trying hard, small-time, manipulative bitch. What an introduction, doe! Well, what can I say we are both hungry wolves flaunting the fairest fleece of a sheep and that our difference is that I much more lethal and much more fairer. He is soulmate with my baby Ivy, my lovely Pom. Ivy, is way different that most dogs. She doesn't like  playing catch. She doesn't like dog food. She doesn't enjoy a good petting even from me when I'm practically living with her. She's a cat in a very realistic dog suit. But when they first met, my best friend Doyoung with his pet Jaehyun in tow, they instantly clicked. That encounter was degrading my ego because Ivy and Jaehyun look like long lost siblings - Ivy jumping and rolling on his Jaehyun's lap, Jaehyun smiling not in a 'I-actually-wanted-you-dead-right-now-but-people-will-caught-on-I'm-evil' smile or 'FOOOOOOOODDDD' smile but the genuine kind. Which is good but it kind of sucks.  
  
  
I would like to explain it in a more profound way but it would completely leave me short-listed so I have to bullshit 8 more bullshit about soulmates so…  
  
I want to say how the color white is Taeyong's soulmate but I'm not sure white has a soul but it is the closest thing he has for a soulmate. Objectively, he looked ethereal but he has that quality that irritates you with just his presence. I'm not saying he is annoying. He really is by substance, but he also is, inherently but objectively, he's stupid resistant so I'd buy that. Arguably,he have worthy friends and the most notable one is me, but I've bet that he is like an acquired taste - you'll only like him after several tries. Is it possible to be so unlucky to have no soulmate at all? Or you're so lucky you have multiple soulmate? The answer is in the next 'myth'. Keep Reading.  
  
  
  
**Myth # 3 You Only Have One Soulmate**  
  
  
People are gushing, always ogling on 'the one' conversations. "He's my soulmate" craps. People might misinterpret soulmates as the twin fire. Deducing from it's literal meaning, soulmates are 'friends of the soul', meaning your connection is so deep and spiritual and awe-inspiring, tying up on to each other as if a proof mandating the abstract of universal oneness.  
  
You may skip this paragraph because this can be boring and unnecessary but during the next lines, I will be discussing different bonds that I recall from my voodoo practitioner aunt…in my father's side. WELP! If i'm weird, it all comes from my father's genes. (The Madame's genes). If my memory serves right, there are several kinds of bonds, namely kindred spirit, soulmates which can be broken down into several types like soul mentor, soul companion, soulsister/soulbrother  & lastly the twin fire. Kindred spirits is still deep and intimate but it's the shallowest level. They are the passive entity's that provide you comfort or strangers you just met but feels like you knew each other because you find similar things that you both consider pleasant, as if you knew each other somewhere, that you just 'clicked'. Soul mentors are more like the people you admire, or if your a fanatic, you hero-worship your soul mentor(s). Soulsiblings are the people that you just only finds comfort and security but actively participate in each others development. Soul companion is just the combination of soul mentor and soulsibling. Twin flames is the deepest among the deep. Twin flames feed each other with their rawness, whether leaning towards good or bad. Both of you reflects each other's strength, insecurity and weaknesses. It's easy to confuse soulmates and twin fires but the key difference is that soulmates bring out the best in you while your twin not only brings out the best and the worst in you, they are the catalyst in forming the best version of you. They may have no control over you but your twin's significant influence is enough for you to change.  
  
Take Jaehyun again for example he's soulmate with Ivy which is unfortunate, and I'm pretty sure he's soulmates with Doyoung, too, which more unfortunate because Doyoung is my soulmate, too. DandararaNN!  
  
Shocking! Not really, for me. Well I was a little shook because I might contact Jaehyun's cooties when I'm with my bunny. Ew~ The moment I saw Doyoung, I felt that instantaneous, spiritual connection between us. He's easily the best friend I could ask for, not only because he's smart, kind, stupid-resistant or he's secretly loaded (those were accessorial but I basing on how my life is, I probably did save China in one of my lifetimes), but he just passively and actively make my day worth while without me asking him, without him asking me.  
  
I have Sicheng, too, my soulmate and my twin fire.  
  
It's very unpleasant to admit but I secretly avoid stupid people, not that there are people free of stupid. Doyoung get stupid, Taeyong get stupid, I get stupid. But I try my best to limit my interactions with Johnny and Ten, and their kin because they are so stupid-prone that they're carrying a stupid bomb of which erupts randomly. They have a lot of non-value added crap to deal with and trust me, most of it are self-inflicted. Many may consider Sicheng stupid and par with Johnny himself but I refused to when in fact…he…kind…of…is and God forbid if my boyfriend ever read this. Maybe its because of the fact that I want him to make more mistakes and he runs to me first, and together we will make right of those. My personal golden rule is be as 'unstupid' as possible, get out of the way of train wrecks and live a bullshit-free life. But the diamond encrustation is be stupid with Sicheng.  
  
The bottom line is that there is a possibility of multiple soulmates…as for the no soulmates theory, I don't have a definite evidence to say  that you have one but just hold on and pray that your soulmate is not as theoretical as Jaehyun's sex life.  
  
  
  
**Myth # 4 Soulmate Relationship is Romantic/Sexual**  
  
  
The preceding craps, myths # 2 &3, gave birth to this crap to supplicate conflicts frolicking from your dirty minds. Soulmate relationship is not always sexual. For the love of God, having coitus with Doyoung never cross my mind. It's not that Doyoung is not hot, he's pretty f*ckable if you ask me or anybody. He's the nerdy hot - the one who does his homework diligently at night as he do you more diligently. Now I really really like to ask all the deities up above to not let Sicheng read this. On the topic of being touchy-feely with your soulmate, bottoming is not my cup of tea to be honest, AlphaDong just frustrate me with his unnoticeable, subtle alpha-ness. (Discussing sensual theories has nothing to do with this topic but I would like to raise two points: #1 Jaehyun's top gaming looks strong and intimidating like the type to force you to call him daddy but he'll surely bottom when Doyoung takes his pants off since the rabbit surpasses porn stars in that area and I know this because I took a shower with him and Taeyong and god how blessed that bunny is in everything…he must be the world savior-incarnate… as for Taeyong PFFT!!! HAHA!!! No comment. #2 Jaehyun is a pussy! Oh I get it. He is a pussy and so is Ivy. Mystery solved!)  
  
Having multiple bonds, too does not mandate you to sleep around and saying he/she/them is your 'soulmate' after cloudy night of sloppy call of the carnal desires. It's not an excuse for you nymphomania/satyriasis. It's a disease of your mind. And if your not still convinced that soulmate relation does not have to be sexual/romantic then you can you consummate with a place?  
  
You got to be kidding me.  
  
  
  
**Myth # 5 You Can 'Find' Your Soulmate**  
  
  
First thing to note is that, it's important to drop the notion that you have control over somebody. Reality needs to give a big hand slapping to wake you up in your delirious illusions. 'What about dad threatening to cut me off? My parents had me wrapped in their hands." As much as I want to sympathize with you, that's stupid and so I will not because if I did, by transitive property, I'll be stupid, too. Our parents, as much as how you detest their strict, cold, godless way of loving you, they love you nonetheless and the more significant surface of the picture is that they aren't controlling you. Yes, they may be a little harsh and overbearingly strict. Yes, they can cut you off. But you have every right to pack your things and leave. Money is not the problem. You can always will yourself to earn money. You and your love for them is the problem because your not willing to let them go even when you force yourself to hate them.  
  
It just goes to show that controlling an event involving several people, you and you soulmate, is way more impossible than controlling a single person. Sometimes you already met your soulmate but you either shut the idea caused by tragic experiences out or your insipid brain has major lapses. Mine was in between but more of the latter. On my defense, I met Sicheng when I was 3, however bright I am, my young mind could not grasp the idea of soulmates. All I know is that I'm happy more than with any other kids - way happier than seeing other kids scrape their knee and crying with snots and bleeds helplessly.  
  
  
  
**Myth # 6 What You Want For Your Soulmate is What You Get**  
  
  
Perhaps, many people envisions 'the one' who they haven't met yet. I myself developed a preconceive image of my soulmate when I was in my most awkward years of pimples, and body odor. I imagine her with qualities I formed in my head so as to attract them. I believe in law of attraction, too.First I want my soulmate to be smart girl with an affinity to reading so we could spend time finding hidden treasure between the pages masterfully woven by their author because that what I need or at least that's what I used to believe I need. So much so, I even picture out that she will have this aura of elegance and grace in every minute details. As for physical attributes, I don't have any particularities. It's enough that she's shorter. (I'm quite short, can be considered average back in hometown, but guys here in Korea are too tall, much too tall and it's uncomfortable at first when I decided to transfer here.)  
  
I'm not into pinning on those so much as expectations, no matter how realistic it is as long as it's not in your control, because more often than not, they just upset you. I'm not sad when I realized Sicheng was my soulmate nor have I felt any negative feelings, if any, just a tinsy-tiny bit regret for the time I wasted when I can hold him but I didn't.  
  
So Sicheng…A girl? Wrong. Smart? Never been so wrong. Loves reading? Aside from manga and new ice cream flavors, wrong. Elegant and graceful? Try again. Shorter than me? My angel is probably 4 inch taller than me and still growing. He's a hundred percent the opposite and I'm a hundred percent in love. What can I say. I revel on all of him. I love his uneven ears. I love the gap between his right set of upper teeth. I love his unpredictability. The way he clasps his hands together when he's unsure and the way he cover his beautiful face when his embarrassed, I love them.  
  
All of ideals for a partner dissolved because I have a better reality.  
  
This just goes to show that soulmates aren't what you consciously wished for but what you unconsciously need.  
  
  
  
**Myth # 7 Soulmates are Single**  
  
  
'Love is like a rosary that has many mysteries.'  
  
'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.'  
  
'Love is shit. Nobody needs it.'  
  
Many people offer their own interpretation of love. But despite all of the universal efforts, love is still more of a placeholder where we throw inexplicable feelings rather than a clear cut incorporeal. We attribute matters of the heart, life-changing decisions, and as silly as flavor preferences to something as vague as love. The mystery even expands when the question 'Who?' is asked.  
  
The bitter pill to swallow is that soulmates, when they first encounter each other, may already be incapacitated to affirm their soul resonance. One can be already in a relationship or married. This may lead to a destructive event.  
  
You may ask why your soulmate is married when he/she hasn't stumble upon you and my the only answer I can offer is that marriage is a tie without a consideration of feelings. Yes, it's true no matter how baffling it is for the romantics.  
  
In case you don't believe, let me lay an example. In traditional Christian weddings, the priest would only ask "Do you take him/her as your lawfully wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part.". He never asked you if you love the person you're about to marry or not. Reread the vows again because no matter how moving and epically selfless those lines may seem, those never affirm or confirm about their feelings. Love only shows in the little things, the shivers overrunning their nerves when they present themselves to the public, the radiance emanating from their eyes as the look into each other, the happiness lacing their voice as they uttered those vows but never the vows themselves. People get married for reasons but not always because they're soulmates.  
  
Soulmates are much more meaningful than marriage. This is a bond that even unconsciousness acknowledges and even more special when celebrated consciously. This tie, no matter how much one wants to ignore, is undeniable.  
  
It's a relief that I bump my head on a rock early to act on my bond with Little Sicheng.  
  
As we grow up together, there has been a large gap between us when it comes to finding a partner. It goes beyond just physical. I am what you call the 'using people' person - it sounds evil and downright manipulative but I like to think of it as a push to the right direction, in both directions, so its a win-win situation but on the other Winwin situation is a different story. Little Sicheng is a people person. He's interpersonal skills is just natural so it's only logical for him to be in a relationship, too many relationships for my taste, actually.  
  
The first time I reflected on my feelings towards him and being hit subsequently with Cupid's arrows, he's in his 7th relationship and he's so small and just half way in middle school. I don't normally evaluate my relationship with others because I don't have any to evaluate but way back when he's just a thin shorty who I can safe to say is my closest friend, I had inappropriate feelings toward him. Not 'sexual' inappropriate………mmmm………not always 'sexual' inappropriate…just feelings that more than a simple concern, feelings far too strong than platonic.  
  
When somebody learns that he's friend's partner is cheating, a friend's normal response would be leading him to a place he likes the most (like ice cream parlors) where he can cry more comfortable, or try to plan the next World War without actually waging the war, just to vent out the negativities from betrayal he just went through. I had better plans though. Something involving permanent school records - her permanent records. Let's just say she got kicked out of school for something may have done. I'm not implying anything. :)  
  
Did I pursue him after the bad break-up…  
  
Not actually…  
  
I still chickened because I haven't come in terms of all the boyfriend stuff just yet.  
  
But at least I made everybody know his mine…without actually knowing himself.  
  
  
  
**Myth # 8 Soulmates Will Stay With You No Matter What**  
  
  
This is the myth I wanted to say is was true but it's so stupid so nope.  
  
Believing in this might be harmful, too.  
  
I get it. Who wouldn't want an eternity with you're soulmate? How I wish there is such!  
  
As much as humans are capacitated, there are still forces that is insurmountable, either falsely perceived or factually existing.  
  
In our case, it's my dreams. I dreamt of being an acclaimed physicist. I desired to be branded as an esteemed scientist revolutionizing the world's perception about the universe. I drew the my path, taking double majors on engineering and physics abroad, graduating at the top with the highest possible honor, receiving my first noble prize, admiring my face in the cover of Times magazine, getting billion-worth of research grants an afternoon tea with Stephen Hawking.  
  
Where does 'us' fit in? I asked my old stupid self about this confusing Winwin situation.  
  
Two years and half a term before I embark to foreign land and shape my dream to reality, I dropped him with further notice. I forego all our playtimes because I deemed them as having no real contribution to achieve those. I began reading science journals and even created an altar of the most worthy newsprints. Each day, the pile of papers I finished stacked and stacked more than I could ever imagine. I was more than ahead of what I planned. I was addicted. I even pose myself as a junior journalist just to gain entry in an exclusive physics convention just to associate myself with the most brilliant minds in the field in China. After building a false profile, I started to crawl up the science community by applying internship at in-border laboratories then abroad during vacations. Even a year before finishing high school, scholarship grants were already flying at my face.  
  
I knew I was heading the right path. Not until the day I was bound to leave China for 5 years, without vacation. At first parents, especially madame, were definitely against it but I convinced them that they could visit me there, instead. Sitting by the queuing area, waiting for the airline's instruction, little Sicheng came up. He wasn't little anymore. There were baby fat in his cheeks still but he's already as tall as me. He outgrew the military cut and let his long dark locks frame his maturing face. I didn't recognize him…but my soul did.  
  
"I hate you, Ge! I knew it! I knew they were lying when they said you liked me."  
  
He's my soulmate and I abandoned him all those years.  
  
I was crying, not because I realized I just did the despicable, but because he kissed me, in front of my parents. He kissed me in front of all those foreigners, earning a mixture of disgust and cheers. And no matter how fucked my thoughts were, my lips is as virgin as a nun. It's so pure in all senses and if possible, in all of the entirety of universe.  
  
In a perfect movie, the world would stop for us.  
  
In a perfect world, I would kiss back and prolong as much as to satiate all those years of yearning.  
  
In my wildest fantasy, I'd stay.  
  
But the reality is unfair. I have to cut it short. I had to board that plane. I'm obligated to and so I did.  
  
I was jerk when I didn't say anything back, not even as mild as a friendly goodbye.  
  
I have to run fast because a second of staying longer and I'll stay for good.  
  
All I can do was to look back and he was crying, too.  
  
But he was smiling at the same time.  
  
It was weird.  
  
I was scared.  
  
I was too sickeningly familiar with that. That's the smile he used when he's going to do something stupid.  
  
And then that's it. I abandoned him the second time.  
  
  
  
**Myth # 9 Relationship Between Soulmates Are Effortless**  
  
  
Most of us assumed that soulmate relationship is stress-free and all will end well even with minimal effort. Again, how I wish it was.  
  
Like any other relationship, soulmate love still requires a lot of patience just like any others. In fact, this needs a much more intensive and special kind of attention as a malfunctioning soulmate relation is even more toxic.  
  
Let's take it when I left my story hanging in the previous bullet.  
  
Everything can be easy, when you prepared enough for it.  
  
Even moving to a different country can be. I acquired a great deal of Korean Language proficiency to the point where I can hold enough a conversation by taking online classes. I previously learned how to do house chores since my parents want me to live alone in an apartment they purchased so I can allocate all my attention to studying without potentially stumbling upon a free-loader or a bad influence for a roommate. I researched anything and everything about SK, from it's history up to the top-rated thrift shops in Itaewon. If I'm missing mom and madame, Skype is the way to go. Overall, my initial month was going smoothly.  
  
Yes, there are withdrawal symptoms, homesickness here and there. But I'm coping.    
  
I know several people, built worthwhile connections, expanding my network, new friends like the my co-scholar, Biology student, Lee Taeyong.  
  
I met my second soulmate too, Kim Dongyoung.  
  
At first I was at panic. It felt like I'm cheating on my angel.  
  
Several study dates and learning lame Korean street slang, then I was in delusion. Doyoung looks like him. He's like the meme version of my angel. I even thought he's more stupid than Sicheng himself because he looked like he's looking surprised all the time with those big brown eyes. He's actually very intelligent and I can say that we clicked just like that. There was a point in time that I tried to think I should make a move on him. I thought he was perfect - reasonable and wise, good-looking, and an ATM machine.  
  
I have Sicheng. There were no labels, no proof to hold on to but even so. It's even more sick and irrational because we don't even have communication after the airport kiss.  
  
I choose to believe Sicheng and I can be 'we' not because he's the first soulmate I met.  
  
I know he's not number one.  
  
He's the only one.  
  
Doyoung is perfect, but not perfect for me.  
  
Plus it feels incestous just picturing myself kissing Doyoung, holding hands is a turn off, too. I looked like his son. EW~  
  
Resisting Doyoung's charm was effortless though. There's nothing to resist because I can honestly say like he's just my long lost brother.  
  
  
My first year in college was also a great sail for me. Grades not only kept in check, it was like I was born to farm perfect scores in exams - it's in bold Mr. Do, for blatant emphasis. Double majors was a challenge but I waltz through them. I landed a paid internship at the university's graduate school department which means more disposable income for me. I made a superb impression on the post-graduate league as I (deceptively humbly) show off my own experiments back in China that they even granted me access to classified areas in the lab. I even started my own blog, posting some (just 10%, they can't have it all) of my efficient study tips, expanding it to a college lifestyle blog where I post noteworthy money-saving techniques for broke college undergrads, health boosting tips because I need to keep track of mine, too and of course I caught the vanity fever so I posted some selfies to make their day (or break it, since they'll be unproductive as hell for drooling at me). I was even shock from the sheer number of followers I had. Again, I'm in a position far greater than what I've asked for.  
  
I was addicted again. My senses went in a frenzy when I hear applause. It feeds my ego and let it sear and burn.  
  
Even on the final term of the academic year, I took advance courses, sign my self up in anything when it's supposed to be a break for those who passed the regular term. The fire slowly died. It was a burnout. Praises didn't fuel me anymore. The fact that Doyoung and Taeyong goes on vacation didn't help either.  
  
I'm in a line of students at the registrars, filing necessary papers for scholarship renewal and enrolling for the fast-approaching second year here. The line was slow and influential students and administrators were lurking in the vicinity, too so I have to throw acknowledging smiles and pats here and there. As usual, they praise me for excelling. It felt okay. Not OCCKKAAAY!-okay. And that's when I realized I was missing out on something.  
  
The pleasantries exchange were definitely not meant. I threw smiles, fake, just an act to sell my integrity, to 'whore' myself for personal favors that is useful but I'm not sure I'd be proud off.  
  
  
"Ge." Holy crap. That voice  rings a bell and even his squinty black marble eyes was etch in the corner of my mind but again holy crap. Is this my angel?  
  
A pretty guy with a weird double flavored (strawberry and vanilla) ice cream hair, with a much more questionable wardrobe choice knocked by my door holding a huge Micky Mouse suitcase and a Hello Kitty body bag constricting his thin but tall frame with my mom and madame slaying with her sundress in tow. Within one second, with just one 'Ge', my entire energy came back. I never let my face show the excitement of  meeting him again but the hug we shared gave it away.  
  
Well… where is the part where I exert effort in our relationship when all I basically have done was nothing but shy away? None. It's not what I had failed to do but what my angel had gone through.  
   
Sicheng told me that he studied a little (his parents tattled him to queen mother so it does follow that madame will also tattle to me that he had been throwing tantrums so he could be enrolled in 3 cram schools simultaneously) in his last year in high school to get good (great) grades acceptable enough to study in an esteemed institution of learning abroad. I was even astonished that he made the cut in the engineering program when a strict screening process and quota exist. That's a massive upgrade in the brain department (and the step back in the fashion department was probably the side effect - they, whoever that person/people is/are, murdered his hair, kill yourself).  
  
  
BTW…It's not a contest…  
  
Okay fine…  
  
Moral of the story? I'm a douche. I'm the lazy ass one. I'm good at disappearing. I'm the master of postponing my feelings.  
  
Good enough? Let's move on.  
  
  
  
**Myth # 10 Your Soulmate Completes You**  
  
  
Perhaps the most accepted, and at the same time, the most destructive myth of all is believing that our soulmates completes us, like our missing half. Thinking about it thoroughly, this popular belief is a big self-disrespect towards our own soul. This mind setting enables us to blame others for happiness lost because we compartmentalize the image of happiness in one person when happiness is everything you choose to rejoice. Ultimately, hanging on this can cost a beautiful relationship due to issues like severe  codependency, self-betrayal and toxic enabling.  
  
"Where are you going to stay?" I asked him.  
  
"Here." He smiled. Not the happy smile. It's the crazy kisser at the airport smile. It scares the shit out of me…in a good way.  
  
His stay was so not bad…  
  
It was terrible.  
  
He keeps being adorable.  
  
He like stroking my hair and poking my cheeks.  
  
He always steals kisses every opportunity he sees.  
  
When I gave him a tour and mention all the essential place, and be savvy about the know hows in Seoul, all that he remembered is that one tiny ice cream shop.  
  
At first, he thought he was adventurous and a capable adult since he's parents are out of his hair, he tried so many things. Whether it's skating, cooking, partying, he just failed it and the guilt trip me into buying more ice cream.  
  
It was terrible because I don't even know what are we. Are we just friends? Are we flatmates? Are just childhood acquaintances? Are we boyfriends? Are we in a weird unknown relationship with sexual benefits?  
  
Many occasions I had wanted to ask Sicheng: What is 'us'? I ask my self, too.  
  
…When we just arrived home from school  
…During our commute  
…Before we go to sleep  
…In between kisses  
…After sex  
  
I was paranoid. Without any label, he can blew me off. With a designation, he can walk away. I want to know, what because I used to think my being would be a little bit more complete if there was one.  
  
I was so paranoid when the results of his first midterms comes out. There were stinging red marks, but it stings more when I see him smiling. It was sad and broken but I knew he's trying to be positive. Yet I hated it.  
  
"Ge, that's okay. If I got debarred, then I'll just be your stay-in wife. My parents can say anything but they can't take me away from you. Look at yours, though. You butchered the exams so hard."  
  
I hated because I'm his soulmate but I didn't even have the slightest hunch that he's failing so hard. Maybe I was wrong about us. I didn't complete him. I honestly even feel that I wasn't missing a part of me or I reclaimed any when we reunited. I wanted to pull out all my hair because I earnestly wanted to be that person who can inspire him to study more, and not to settle on that second-rate back up plan.  
  
Being a snot that I am, I didn't voice it. Because my voice is already drowned and beneath my logic. I let the time do it's thing, hoping my deranged thoughts would fly away but it didn't. I was afraid for too many reasons. If his parents found out he's slacking, they take him away from me. But if he's staying with me here, then it's just him destroying himself for me. It's contradicting and hellish but he doesn't even care. All he did was to pig on fucking ice cream.  
  
A months had passed and finals is fast approaching but I'm still in the closet, hiding my torment and he's still feasting on the cold treat. I didn't get to see him spend more time with his books or handouts. Instead, he's been hanging out a lot more. I wanted to tell him to act on it, but who am I to do that? For him, who is Kun? I was tired for doing nothing.  
  
"Ge. Can I have that. It's just melting. I don't it to go to waste."  
  
I snapped. I'm bent. He cares about a freaking tub of ice cream but he doesn't care about our future. 'I don't want us to go to waste'. For the first time, I cried  my worries, still without words. I tackled him, sending both our bodies on the carpeted floor, not minding where the dessert would form into a sticky mess and just hugged him, cursed him mentally.  
  
I was ready to let him go because this unnamed relationship is too toxic for us. I'm not at peace and he's probably pretending he is. Just a little more time, I wanted to embrace him more before I end what ever madness this is. Heck I wasn't sure there were something to end to begin with.  
  
To start vent out my frustration, I slapped his butt but I wasn't prepared when he moaned. It wasn't the moan you would release you're in pain. It was a crisp, low and aroused grunt. He confused my action as sexual frustration. It's the funniest time for him to be horny.  
   
Then we had sex, kinky make-up sex, chocolatey and diabetes-coated sex, on the floor.  
  
I'm the God of postponing the crucial matters, in case you didn't get that.  
  
It did get better. Though he's in the brink of failing, he did passed all of his subjects. It turns out, he just failed all those exams because he's Korean sucks and the mixture of Korean and English as the university's medium of instruction bogged him so he spent more time with Doyoung and Taeyong (mostly with Taeyong because he spoils him with ice cream while Doyoung is very much against overconsumption of sweets and encourage him to eat a little healthier) to shatter the language barrier.  
  
I was a little jealous at first. "Why do you bother them when I'm here."  
  
"I don't want my husband to worry too much. He has a lot of stuff going on his shoulders." God, I barely knew I'm in a relationship, and now I'm married?  
  
"And besides, your always horny so I have to control my appetite and create space. It's called compromise. Compromise. C-O-M-P-R-O-M-I-S-E" he added. Mmm…what?  
  
"That's stupid, you're the one who wants to receive my rod all the time." We're clearly on different page.  
  
"Don't get me started on the spanking and the ice cream sex before hell week. Way to go Christian Kun." He blushed, burying his face in between his hands as he said those.  
  
God, he's innocently kinky! I'm not complaining! I'm celebrating!  
  
At the end of the day, soulmates does not automatically complete you. Yet, they offer a lot to complete  each other's day. You pour so much emotions and passion, giving them without asking anything in return. They can be that person who triggers your inner most capabilities to love, but that loving is already within you. You just misplaced it when you ventured that thing called life.  
  
And if the time of their death comes, they didn't take with them anything from you. Maybe, the tomorrows would differ from the yesterdays but all in all, it's just the body that withers, or the thoughts forgotten, but the soul is in in tact, in solidum. You'll me again.  
  
Conclusion:  
  
I haven't learn anything about soulmates. Writing this is a complete waste of my precious time. But for the sake of ending this, I can say that soulmates is an aspect of self discovery. It's not something forced but the grand scheme of everything will used all it's machinations to tie up all souls scattered. It's cheesy.  
  
Besides that, I realized I was a complete dickbag to Sicheng, for not giving him merit on his own, for not trusting his capabilities enough.  
  
I always get stressed on nothing.  
  
I'm old.  
  
Geez~  
  
_P.S.  
  
Don't even dare talk to me. I don't want to be associated with any part of you.  
  
P.P.S.  
  
***-*******  
That's the coach Jongin's contact number in case your really thirsty._  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A…D…E…B…C…D…D…A….E…B  
  
It's Kun's 7th time running through his scantron sheet, checking if all his answers are properly shaded - space properly filled, and even rereading the questions as he goes by.  
  
Professor Do Kyungsoo was not-so-much-but-still dumbfounded when the star student was still in his seat, flipping the 5 page, 50 item, multiple choice exam, continuously as if it's never ending. At first, he can't come to any conclusion as to why Kun always finishes the exams last when he makes sure all the answer were glaring at the student's face that he might as well highlight the correct choice. The professor thought that the effort will diminish as time went on since he'll have a clue that he didn't ask for too much but no. Kun still overbearingly submitted too much quality of a paper that he's almost sure even psychology major won't give half as much damn. Professor Do graded his paper a little bit lower than what it deserve so that he can sort out what's wrong with Kun but holy crap! He's more daring and impressive in the subsequent papers that he's brain aches because a student, a barely adult man boy, can manage to produce a paper of top quality. Maybe he's already too comfortable to kindergarten english resulting from just the sheer volume of half-baked essays that he's so sure was written in the exact same day as it falls due.  
  
'His subject is in fact, just a filler. So why bother taking it seriously?' That's a disheartening truth, that students think of his subject. And from that, he developed a teaching paradigm that revolves in that bitter truth so he incorporates the knowledge to its application. After the term ends, his students may carry the most valuable secret to life: 'Live your life.'  
  
But he can say, he understands a little bit better after he read his last essay.  
  
When most student are carbons waiting to be precious stones, Kun was already a diamond at rough. He's the type to love the pressure, a true learner, but he's too tedious and stiff. He maximizes allotted test hours (like this two-hour period, the first one to pass was in a record breaker, 28 minutes), not minding other's who already finished. He's the type that curses half-assed submissions because he valued respect, respect for his professors so he always give them what is due, a listening ear and an open mind, respect for himself because he understands the weight of education, respect for his parents because he's a son who does well, and respect even the most unworthy so he would shut his trap up, suck some fresh air, and discard the crap out of everybody.  
  
The bell rings signaling the end of class and Kun just nonchalantly placed the exam set at the teacher's table and was set to leave the room.  
  
"Wait Mr. Qian. Do you have a moment?" There was a rising intonation like a proper question is asked but his facial expression indicates it was a command.  
  
"Yes, I do have but I believe you're not allowed to share with it me. Sayonara bish." Professor Do was offended and Kun knew it but he still look at random places around the room.  
  
"Since you're being an impatient prude, I'll get straight to the point."  
  
"I declined your offer to sleep with y-"  
  
"You made it brutally clear in your last essay. But really, I just wanted to apologize for giving so much less of what is due to you."  
  
"Pity talk? God! That's why nobody wants to snag with you. Loser."  
  
"Please stop implying that giving you lower marks is my ploy to get you out of your pants. I just simply wanted to talk to you. You know, like you'd go to my office and whine I gave you that when your work was perfectly reasonable and I'd say that was my mistake but you're too stubborn and mind- numbingly hard-headed."  
  
"Sounds like a cheap teacher-student porno."  
  
"I'm beating you up."  
  
"I'm not into BDSM."  
  
"Arghh! I'm just concerned that your putting too much effort on my subject that I hypothesized your failing on your majors. That's my initial assumption. But well, the rumors of you being a valedictorian bet even if you're years away from graduating hit my radar so that's already an ex. Then maybe I assumed you had no friends because you don't have enough time to simply juggle on studies and go out and maintain relationships."  
  
"I'm an SNS star."  
  
"One real friend is more than those virtual friends you could possibly get. Friend request buttons is just one tap away, but real life ones are way complicated and takes way more effort but with way more worth too in staying emotionally healthy. I was actually freaking out that you'll jump of the building because of too much pressure. It's nice to know that you had the innate, profound understanding of friends and soulmates, implying that you're indeed sane."  
  
Kun being taken aback was an understatement. He never looked at it that way. Perhaps, Professor Do is not as lazy as he thought. Maybe he really does care about his students.  
  
"Well…that's how you butter up people. But it won't work on me." Veins bulged out of the professor's forehead out of acute annoyance.  
  
"Get out, now. Sometimes I wonder how your boyfriend sticks with you."  
  
Kun sighed audibly, and it's definitely not out of relief. "Another fight? Do you mind talking about it?"  
  
"Thank the heavens! Okay…since only a handful of people know about the real me and all of them are good as dead, might as well talk it out with you." Kun take a seat and started raking his hair out of frustration which a rare sight. He's Qian Kun after all, always prim and perfect.  
  
"I don't know if I'm privileged or cursed but go on."  
  
"Sicheng is cold nowadays like no sweet baby talks nor breathing on my neck for a bucket ice cream and I don't know why?"  
  
"Hmmm…"  
  
"Hmmm is all you can say? To think your almost number 1 in my favorite professors nowadays. Now your number 1 in my most useless people list."  
  
"Basing on the current situation, it's midterms. It might be that he's just focusing on his studies right at the moment."  
  
"That's bullshit…Last term we shagged during finals, every single night."  
  
"Disturbingly amazing…Props to both of you. Maybe you should just walk up to him and directly asked what's wrong."  
  
"Now it's hard to believe since it's coming from you."  
  
"Well, not tackling the problem will get you nowhere, look what happened between us."  
  
"There was never an 'us'"  
  
"But seriously…stop doing nothing about your relationship. You may have been lucky before because fate plays in your favor but if she decided not to side you on this one...You should let out more than what's in your pants. Bottled up feelings are silent killers."  
  
"I don't why it's so hard to ask him why. Sometimes, I feel like I don't deserve him at all or worse…I'm just being a delusional sex maniac for thinking he's my soulmate just because he's sleeping with my cold ass."  
  
"So your boyfriend is not aware that your a plastic, judgmental psycho nor he had acknowledge that you're connected in a spiritual way. Hmmm. Figures."  
  
"Well, he call me sweet nicknames…hubby, babe, daddy. Hey! What was 'figures' supposed to mean?"  
  
"I'm not implying anything."  
  
"For the love of God! You also think I don't deserve him?"  
  
"Who told you that?"  
  
"Nobody, just my conscience."  
  
"He's right. He deserves a cookie."  
  
"You're just stating the obvious and this is not how counseling works."  
  
"For starters, who should let him read your last essay. It does an awfully good job in explaining who is Kun."  
  
"That's so tough! He's gonna whoop whoop my ass. But in all honesty, I never ask people what's wrong because I despise ringing in their stupid business so I just close my eyes and pretend that I don't know about know anything about. Easy."  
  
"It's your soulmate, his business is your business, revenues are split equally and so are the losses."  
  
"I'm afraid of stepping on that line. I like this. I like the way he smiles. I like they way he makes me smile when he smiles. I like…'us' right now. And asking him may change everything and beyond that I don't know if there would still be an 'us' if he knew I was in fact an ASS. What if he thinks I was too fast for him and questioning him cemented that and he just freaks out and leaves me?"  
  
"I guess everyone is afraid of what's unknown but trust me, denying that there is something to talk about takes you to that same situation  you're fearing and in most cases, the effects are irreparable. Remember, you said soulmate relationships aren't easy?. Maybe it's he's way of asking where is your relationship going to and the only way to progress is to actually divulge to him who Qian Kun is - quirks and all."  
  
"I'm dying!"  
  
"Good to know that you're still youthful. Teenagers feel like everything is the end of the world. Just ask him, but not shock him directly."  
  
"I have a PhD in round-about conversation."  
  
"Just making sure."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Now that midterms are officially done, he's plagued with the losing Winwin situation. Sicheng doesn't even want to wait up and take the subway with him, anymore.  
  
He reluctantly opened the the door on their shared flat, praying that Winwin is in his room or asleep or any situation to delay the unavoidable confrontation. Temporary relief washed over him as Sicheng is nowhere in the living room.  
  
Kun takes off his winter clothes and pets sleeping Ivy a little and psyches himself up. Two knocks. Three knocks.  Four knocks and a sweet 'Winwinnie' later and the younger hasn't made an appearance so he decided to just barge in the other's fort only to find out he wasn't there, too.  
  
The elder was certain that Winwin already made it back home or was he assuming things again with all that thick fur coats and backpack the younger owns and worn this morning to school haphazardly thrown at the sofa.  
  
'Did he leave me already?' He eyes were forming manly sweat just by the thought of it but before manly sweat makes an appearance, a sleep-deprived, caffeine-powered Sicheng  appeared from the door.  
  
"Ge, we need to talk." How convenient it is! Kun is save from embarrassing himself for both sweating oh so manly tears and initiating 'the talk'.  
  
"Okay. Take a seat first." He kept it cool, calming the eruption of emotions in his heart when Sicheng chooses to take the solo chair when he made the love seat obviously accommodating.  
  
"We need to break-up." Break up? Kun's previous predictions weren't even far from the idea.  
  
There were moments when he thinks it's for the younger's sake because he wasn't contributing anything to the younger's well being after all. Sicheng is a smart kid. Air-headed and gullible, yes, but he's innovative and once he put his mind into it, then he really can. He doesn't need him to pass his subjects, he can do it all by himself. He doesn't need him to learn Korean too, Doyoung and other hyungs can aid him. He doesn't even need him for sex, he can fetch anybody he wants because Dong Sicheng is a fetch himself.  
  
He build those notions so when the moment the younger decided he had enough, it would be damn easier too accept and move on. He said he can swallow it any time. He said he can set him free in one word. He said he'll try to be happy him as they part. He's Qian Kun after all - doing everything for the best and still preparing for the worst.  
  
But know that it's happening, he can't bring himself to agree with what the younger is asking for.  
  
"Why?" is all he can ask.  
  
"I just feel like you don't love me at all." But I do! So! Freaking! Much! He wanted to scream it at his face but there's an imaginary tape on his mouth hindering his words out.  
  
"Maybe the rumors are true. Maybe, I don't fit your caliber and you're just keeping me as your bed warmer - disposable at your will. I must be out of my mind to think that I, a stupid nobody, would be good enough for you." He never dare dream the day to see his angel spill such tears. He oath to give the best revenge to those who try to wrong him and now to think he's the cause is a little too much even for the almighty Kun, himself. "I foolishly believe that there's a chance that we can be together, that you used to like me when were young, that we could be in love but it turns out I'm chasing a dead star, all this time."  
  
"Ge! Say something!!! Say anything!!! Tell me that you love so I can stop crying or spit that you don't so I could stop loving you or at least make me hate you to get rid of these stupid feelings." Sicheng's had grips his sides begging for words Kun's tongue is still not functional.  
  
"Kun-ge. You're being too much! If you really want me to stay say it and I will. And if you don't then I'll go but right now you're so heartless for leaving me hanging and confusedly in love." By this time, Sicheng's fist pounded on his chest as the younger pours all his pain. Kun would be lying if he said that his torso didn't hurt but the better but bitter truth was Winwin in tears just hurt him to the point the where physical pain is almost negligible.  
  
"Tell me any -" The younger was cut off when Kun tried to seal his mouth with a kiss only to earn himself a crispy slap. "I said say something! Don't you dare kiss me! You know too damn well that I'd just suck my pathetic problem up once you started grinding my gears. You knew that my attention span is so short I'd be moaning your name in a heartbeat because you too knew I am your little slut, right? I get it, now. To think that I'm special because I can kiss whenever I want, wherever I want but the truth is that you only keep me around to relieve your goddamn sexual needs."  
  
"I like you. I love you and if it means more, I love us." Kun finally said something after the younger incriminates him. After the airy confession, the atmosphere was odd because Kun's heart was erratic and convulsing while Sicheng's cry leveled down but his anger is boiling up.  
  
"Uhmm okay." The younger pursed his lips into a thin line.  
  
"Okay? Is all you can say? I'm dying here. I'm dying because I barely say it out loud. I'm embarrassed to admit my feelings for you."  
  
"I get it. I'm too stupid for you and your afraid of being associated with someone not considered to be on par, someone of distant league as you-"  
  
"No! I refuse to blurt it out because I'm afraid that you'd fall for me deeper."  
  
"What's wrong with that! I'd drown myself of you if that's possible. But your not making sense right now. Are you even hearing yourself or this is something only smart people can comprehend. Fuck! Ge! I said just tell me if you'd want me or not, not confuse the shit out of my pea brain. My brain may not be as well as it should be intended but my heart is strong. I know it is. But right now, even my heart is failing me. I don't want it to break too damn much. Save me something to build on after this is over, after us is over."  
  
"What I'm saying is that you don't know me that much."  
  
"I know you since I was 2!!!"  
  
"I wished you knew.I wish you knew all my flaw. But I cannot accept your love when all you can see is the better side of me so…"  
  
"So your ending 'us' for real?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Sicheng's instinct was to go back to his bed and wet it with all his tears but Kun grabbed him and thumbing the tears away. "Hey beautiful, who's the shithead insane enough to make you cry. I mean you still look angelic with snots and all but I'd bet my future your smile is a thousandfold more perfect."  
  
"We just broke up?!"  
  
"Ah! News flies so fast these days. Must be my lucky day to meet a very available, single, lovely guy. I'm Kun. Qian Kun." Kun held out his hand, ready for a flirtatious handshake. Sicheng couldn't deny that cheesy Kun is cuter than passive stone cold Kun and the doki doki in his poor heartu did not contend otherwise. He ponders for a moment before he swats his ex-for-59-seconds's hand away, grunts and pretended that he's face is red from anger but his head is blowing up so hard just to restrain himself from romancing the ass out of Kun so he ran away to his room, the elder persistently tailing him.  
   
"Oh my! We're already in your room. Isn't this a little too fast for a first date." The elder said playfully wiggling his eyebrows.  
  
Sicheng plops on his bean bag chair (a really bad investment according to Doyoung), to which Kun followed suit, squeezing himself to fit. He knows the older was intently raking his vision to Sicheng. The younger's eyes we're scattered but never on the other as if he'll combust when he stares back to reciprocate the unsaid passion. He felt like squandering and amazingly paperweight in his chest.  
  
Kun must be suffocated with the silent treatment so he started poking the younger's ear lobes and blowing harmful-for-the-heart melody that makes more than just his hair stand.  
  
"Stop fucking my mind." Sicheng growled, his stiffened back still facing the shorter.  
  
"It's my pleasure to pleasure your brain." Kun whispered teasingly.  
  
The spent five more minutes in silence, Kun boring a hole in the skull of his love's ice cream hair, Sicheng's forehead creased in confusion as he tries to take in a very sleazy Kun.  
  
The younger's heart is evening only to resume back to triple time when he felt a tender pair of lips made contact to his temple. "I'm taking a shower okay. And while waiting, can you read this. For me." Kun pleaded and held out his phone, an electronic copy, the original and unformatted copy, of his latest psychology essay already opened.  
  
"But I sucked at English. And I have a hard time taking in long things." Sicheng was all pouty and cute again.  
  
"Trust me, you're great at taking in long things." That remarked netted him a slight tug. "And don't worry I don't used fancy-shmancy words on this one."  
  
The younger reluctantly submitted to his bidding and the older was now in the communal shower taking a steamy bath.  
  
"Ge! Ge! GE!!!' The younger was banging the thin plastic door of the shower room when it opened and revealed Kun in his wet and naked glory.  
  
"So…shower sex?"  
  
"NOOOOO!!! Ge! Get your shit together!" The younger turned around, too baffled to behold the boldness that Kun is displaying.  
  
"You have seen it so many times, what's with the fuzz?"  
  
"I haven't even made out with my new boyfriend yet. There's no excitement when there's no slight chase."  
  
"The new boyfriend card, well played." Kun loosely wrapped a towel around his waist, still sinful as his prominent V-cut and happy trail leading to heaven are subtly emphasized.  
  
"Why is that you have two soulmates? Are you cheating on me? And with Kim to the freaking perfect Dongyoung? How am I going to compete with that, that, that fancy-pants hyung. See I can't even diss him!" The urge to kneel and worship seductively damp Kun at that exact moment was getting stronger but the jealousy is too damn powerful that it trumps the inviting earthly delights.  
  
"If there's a competition then…you can take the lead…i'm a total priest in the shower sex department." Kun ,with droplets of water cascading his face and a dash charming lopsided grin so enticing, teasingly swoops his forefinger between the towel and hips, attempting an 'oopsie my towel dropped accidentally' moment.  
  
"Ge, are that sex-deprived?"  
  
"You are fully capable of answering that question."  
  
"Be serious!!! Are a two-timing bag of dingle hopper? Answer me."  
  
"Dingle hoppers are forks that Little Mermaid used to straighten her hair."  
  
"I know!!! That's why I'm asking you if you're forking somebody else other than me."  
  
"I bet you haven't move on from # 3. Just comeback after you finished reading that…"  
"…or you're feeling dirty, you can step in here and we'll figure something out." Kun chimed, flexing a little but Sicheng already left.  
  
With a fresh underwear, fresh tank top and a fresh shorts after a refreshing hot bath, Kun barged in the younger's room, uninvited.  
  
There were tears threatening to drop from Winwin's eyes. "You must be deeply moved with my hidden romantic rambles."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me…that I'm ignorantly kinky…and stupid." Sicheng thrown himself to his  
  
"That's what you squeezed out of my no-holds-barred confession? Not even how I refer to as my sweet little angel in my mind?"  
  
"Why did you not tell me?"  
  
"What? Your carefully raunchy kinky subconscious or the fact that I'm a douche?"  
  
"Both."  
  
"Remember when they say men think with their dongs, it's very much applicable to me. As they say, when the going gets hard, the going bones. And for the jerkiness, really, who wanted to admit that. Might as well admit to liking threesome because vanilla is so plain. And can I ask you, why aren't you running away." Kun felt ecstasy with his choice of words. When his Sicheng is present, he never curse or say something moderately condescending to preserve his baby's 'innocence'. He even went to the point to torture Doyoung and Taeyong when they occasionally blurted out 'shit' or 'fuck' out of reflex. But now that he can speak out his mind in the manner he preferred, it is by far the most liberating experience he had.  
  
"I love you."  
  
"Even when I'm evil."  
  
"You're not that bad. For real. I actually admire you more." Sicheng is being an adorable little baby again and daddy was a about to hand out his special gift when Kun's phone annoyingly vibrates. Seeing Doyoung's name in the caller ID makes Kun want to crush both the device and Doyoung's face instantaneously but Sicheng abruptly answers it.  
  
"That's my call." Sometimes, Kun wished his limbs were a little longer; he just didn't fight the younger on this one.  
  
"Well I have to make everybody back off from you." The younger said in a very bratty tone."Hello Do-Hyung!" The shorter can't figure out what's the conversation about as the younger switches to his mind-manipulating sweet 'ice cream juseyuhhhhhh' voice only saying 5 yeses, '5 minutes pronto', and a fake sugary 'goodbye'.  
  
"Get your ass up we're going out." The younger was already stripped down to his undies, and rummaging his sloppy drawer for something appropriate to wear when he's already in an appropriate attire before.  
  
"But I want to stay!!!" for the first time, he decked out the cute card, pouting and enlarging his eyes until they are irrupted and moist to add a glistening effect. Too bad, the effect was not strong enough. He manage to get Sicheng to stop knocking in his pants and make his jaw drop but it didn't last.  
  
"I'll be extending your dry spell." With that, he sprint to his own room and suit up, muttering "Aw~ Things I do for love."  
  
"More like things you do to get me in my birthday suit."  
  
  
  
  
The round table partly covered with baked confections and sugary drinks accommodates five college students, exchanging what the hell happened last week after secluding themselves like the grade conscious hermits that they are.  
  
Their meeting meeting was more eventful than usual. There's a new addition to the group in the person of Moon Taeil. Kun appraised that this Taeil guy is okay to keep around - not minding that he's a little awkward because he's quite stupid resistant, too which is the only qualification that matters. Actually he's more stupid resistant than the rarely-stupid giggly Taeyong situated beside him. He's seriously considering to kick Taeyong out of his little group and replace him with silent type Moon Taeil for two good reasons: 1. a giggly person is more often than 'more often than not' stupid and Taeyong is catching stupid, he can't accept spreading the stupid on the rarer breeds that he and Doyoung are and 2. Taeyong and Doyoung always have things to say with their smart mouths so that the clam that Moon Taeil may induce assuming that he's naturally silent is as it is would finally come to him.  
  
Kun, too, was different in the sense that he's bedimpled smile isn't there just for display. He's projecting a very contented face.Sicheng's being too clingy, too…well he is clingy to anybody before, but this time around, he's only for Kun.  
  
"Winwin, can you be a doll and fetch me another slice of this baby." Taeyong lift up his empty plate once contained a slice of blueberry cheese cake "And while your at it, get yourself anything you want." Taeyong handed the youngest among them a large bill.  
  
"Dude, what's up!" Kun said indignantly, gnashing his teeth together, because his angel is not there to hug him and he felt dramatically empty.  
  
"What's up? Aside from your dick which anybody can see I want to know what's up with the both of you. We need to talk so I diverted his attention away." Taeyong said in a hushed gossipy voice.  
  
"It's clear you did a great job. Your order is in queue for another quarter of a century, you doofus."  
  
"You're being harsh on Lay-hyung. He looks like he's a stoner but he's Chinese."  
  
"So what if he is! Not all Chinese is stupid proof like me!"  
  
"Really, what up with Winwin and these clothed sex. I mean you are in public in case you didn't notice the dirty stares or bloody noses of your fangirls."  
  
"And why is he staring at me like I was Ursula?" Doyoung weighed in, on which Kun assured the tallest that he has nothing to worry and at the same time patting the worry worth's cheeks to prove his point.  
  
"Come on guys, be sensitive. In case you didn't notice, Taeil hyung is witnessing your mediocrity firsthand."  
  
"No, it's okay. I'm friends with Nakamoto…Not exactly friends, he just clung to me like a disease since nobody can stand his sass." Finally someone who can relate! Kun is beginning to like Taeil more. Too bad for Taeyong, Kun only has two slots for servants. He really need to butter up Taeyong before kicking him out of his life because a sad Taeyong has more stupid concentrate than a giggly Taeyong.  
  
"Japanese people, though!" Taeyong commented…and giggled. He freaking giggled in everything Moon Taeil did. The Chinese is seriously considering ousting Taeyong's ass.  
  
"You're racist." Doyoung fired.  
  
"That Japanese, though." Taeyong retorted because being corrected by Doyoung is a sin his books.  
  
"That's divisive." Doyoung inhales a portion of his favorite coffee.  
  
The thing about Doyoung and Taeyong is that they are not stupid in their own right and their sass is commendable. The downside is when you put them in the same breathing space, both of them would try to cut of the other's breathes. They always spout all the stupid and exhaust themselves to death. At least they keep each other in line. They are both sassy as fuck. So when you have two sass-buzzed feisty friends, make sure to introduce them to each other, they neutralize each other's sass…well that's the way to go when you could out sass them both.  
  
"Fuck you! But really…that stare he throwing you. It's like his making babies in his mind. I sensed something big has changed."  
  
He just coolly shrug, "I don't know what you're talking about." He likes making people guess.  
  
"Oh my god!" Taeyong was thumping his hands in the table, his dimwit head producing a dead light-bulb. "Winwin bottomed for the very first time and he wants to ride you more, thus, explaining the mate call."  
  
"Do you kiss your mother with that filthy hole? I pity her for carrying you in her womb expecting a baby to bring joy to the world but she birthed a big disappointment." It was a good blow by doing and the hit landed below the belt, right were he just want to.  
  
"Stop being a saint. Sex is a natural thing, Doyoung-ah. You're so lame probably can't even say sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex, Doyoung. SEX" Taeyong taunted back and voice rapidly rising more than what is considered for a closed group discussion only.  
  
"Oh for the love of God! Sicheng always bottoms, quit it will you!" Again a rare occurrence. Kun barely stop them from frying each other's eggs because it's entertaining but his reputation is in line. Jeopardizing his staged image of ever perfect princely figure is not a risk he's willing to take.  
  
Their night should end peacefully after all the efforts Kun expended just to keep Winwin away from 'accidentally' murdering Doyoung every time does something adorable or to grab Taeyong by the collar before he pounced on the noticeably shorter Taeil every time he does something adorable. He's a little bit more exhausted for baby sitting them. Before they exit, Doyoung bought a whole to-go cake and two more hot beverage, giving the cake to Winwin for apology. The youngest gave him a hug and said "Thanks, for being too fucking perfect." and Doyoung was confused if that remark was an attack or a complement.  
  
EPILOGUE (of some sort)  
3 days later…  
  
Now that the younger is aware, of who Kun is, of who Kun's loves the most, well…Sicheng still as clueless as ever but he knows things will get prettier or uglier whichever is, he knows one thing…  
  
"Ice cream is my second soulmate!" Winwin happily announces.  
  
They were both trekking down the Engineering building after classes, all happy and hands clasps. The midterm results where returned, surprisingly, Winwin almost made it to the Top 10 among freshmen, like really close, he's in the 11th spot so yah. Very close. Unsurprisingly, Kun's still on his throne and not ready to give it up and Jaehyun's bitter ass is still glued on the second place.  
  
"But you're eating ice cream. You can't eat your soulmates." Kun just doesn't care, Sicheng seems to be talkative nowadays. Maybe after learning Korean he should learn how to shut up and put his pretty lips in a better use.  
  
"I'm eating you. You're just jealous because I like ice cream better in my mouth." Winwin really needs to shut up right now.  
  
Kun want's to redeem himself with a good comeback like ' But you want me in you better than ice cream.' but he decided that he wants to witness Jaehyun's mental breakdown once he see how second-rate he is because oh boy he attended classes with his hoody covering his face like a hoodlum and a cloudy storm following him. He's hiding something.  
  
Doyoung must be lost because he has no reasons to be in the Engineering Department but the taller seems to be anxiously waiting for somebody.  
  
"What's up Do-hyung." Winwin greeted first. Kun was grateful that Sicheng didn't spoil DoKun because he really like Doyoung and Kun.  
  
"Just fetching somebody." Doyoung said, whistling. But he straightened his posture when he see Jaehyun taking his time walking down the stairs. Like very slow.  
  
Once Jaehyun see Doyoung waiting, he just rolled his eyes like a bitch and brisk out but he seems in pain taking steps.  
  
"It's all your fault." Jaehyun said vehemently towards the doe eyed giant.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Don't follow me." Doyoung understood and stay afoot with a frown.  
  
Jaehyun turned back when he's 3 good meters away from the three and shouted,"Why are you not following ME!!!"  
  
"But you said-" Quick on his feet, he didn't need to be told twice so he follows the seemingly menopausal Jaehyun.  
  
"What's Jaehyun-hyung's problem?"  
  
"He's not your hyung. You're born on the same year."  
  
"He said he could easily be my hyung because he's a year ahead of me in terms of acads. You know being the same level as my hubby. Plus he's always been mature and he's cool so I agreed."  
  
"What flavor did he bribed you?  
  
"Nothing" I eyed him intently. "Cookies n' cream. But besides that? Why is he limping?  
  
"Doyoung gave him the D"  
  
"So bunny-hyung's new name is now Kim ongyoung? I'm lost."  
  
"No, he gave a much larger D"  
  
"But it's capital D, how bigger can it get? Is that a deeper English grammar rule? I barely live my life here because of my broken Korean. And on a scale of one to ten with ten being not Ten-hyung, how important is it for me to master this rule?"  
  
"Not really important, but it's FUN~"  
  
"Hmmm…  
  
  
"GE!!! Your destination is that way."  
  
"I got a day off. I was thinking we can have an 'us' time."  
  
"GE!!! Compromise. C-O-M-P-R-O-M-I-S-E."  
  
"Relax~ I was thinking of ice cream, the most expensive one and a horror movie at the living room."  
  
"Please assure me that this is not a trick to lure me off to ice cream sex."  
  
"You're so into it, actually."  
  
"I WAS during but not after, scrubbing stains in the carpet is a nightmare. Oh, and for the rest of the day, sex is off the table."  
  
"We just had sex on the tab-"  
  
"STOP! Fine! It's just ice cream. No monkey business."  
  
"Is cuddling on the table?"  
  
"Proposition rejected. I'd like to modify and clearly lay out the terms."  
  
"Sustained. So what's the counter-offer?"  
  
"Horror movie, ice cream and cuddling without trying to take my shirt off."  
  
"Okay. I accept and honor all the conditions so…to the supermarket!"  
  
Qian Kun is a man of his words. He always sticks to them no matter what. And so, the rest of their day went like this: A trip to the grocery, an unfinished horror movie, two empty tubs of Haagen Daz and…five rounds of regular sex…all with Sicheng's shirt on.  
  
Yup, he stayed true to his promises.  
  
Kun has three letters in it, so is an ass.


End file.
